Long Haul Laughs

Who said long haul flights weren’t interesting? My flight from Melbourne to Singapore was a somewhat entertaining.

Sitting to my right was an Indian man, who was more than capitalising on the free alcohol. When one attendant refused to serve him, he would attract the attention of another and when all avenues were exhausted, I would order a beverage for him. He must have had a bladder of steel and managed to last around four hours before his first piss. It was only when he lifted himself to his feet that I got a true indication of his drunken state. He swayed as though the aircraft was going through intense turbulence and had some serious trouble dealing with the latch on the lavatory door. He tried to strike up conversation with me on more than one occasion, however his thick Indian accent and Johnnie Walker induced slur rendered my brain totally unable to comprehend him. I did manage to work out he was going to India for a year, I reckon I would be pretty legless if I found myself facing the same predicament.

Seated in the row in front of me was a middle aged Asian woman, who looked as though she was battling the same “turbulence” as my Indian friend. She repeatedly ran to the toilet, her hands covering her bloated cheeks and mouth. Each time she returned to her seat even more colour had drained out of her already pale face.

Then there was my experience. Not wanting to let my Indian friend drink by himself, I enjoyed a few plastic cups of Beam and coke. I had a solid giggle watching the Hangover, a movie I was yet to watch in its entirety. It was Dakota Fanning’s performance in the movie “Man On Fire” that really got me going. It was old school Dakota, her deep blue eyes drawing me deep into the film. Basically the movie was about her being kidnapped in Mexico City, despite the best efforts of Samuel L Jackson to saver her. He ends up trading her life for his in a climax that drew tears to my eyes. I didn’t even have time to dry my cheeks before we landed in Singapore. Making that flight one of the fastest 7 hour journeys I have experienced.

As I write this I am somewhere between Singapore and Manilla, every key stroke meaning one less moment I will be on the plane.